Some logical recommendations

October 24, 2015

Don't argue over why no one else takes out the trash but you. This is stupid and futile. It's your job, and your wife hates to do it. Hence, take out the trash without question or complaint.


Don't comment to your wife about the hotness of other women, even celebrities. Keep it to yourself, or share with your drinking buddies if you must.


In any dispute with your family or your wife's family, ALWAYS take your wife's side of the argument.


If your wife says "you never help out around the house", DO NOT challenge this assertion with sound statistics by pointing out "that's not true, honey, I perform exactly 10% of all household chores."


Drop your wife off in front off restaurants, stores, etc while you find parking. It doesn't cost you anything, and gives her the VIP treatment.


Keep your man cave interior design (football posters, ping pong table, beer signs, etc.) in your man cave-- whether that's in your basement, garage, or closet. Let your wife decorate the rest of your living quarters.


A screw-up or mess created by your wife's co-worker, relative, or family pet is an excellent opportunity to divert your wife's anger from something you (inevitably) screwed up.


It is a good strategy to occasionally accompany your wife when she goes shopping for clothes. Provide subtle but helpful comments such as: "I see there is a Victoria's Secret store in this mall, shall we swing by there?"


Your wife will probably schedule dinner or other social event during the 7th game of the World Series. She will not consult the ESPN App. Go with the flow and DVR the game if necessary.

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